The traditional “on-one-knee” engagement isn’t disappearing, but it is changing and women are making the change more beneficial for themselves. There really is no reason a woman in a relationship can’t propose before her partner. Sometimes, this might be easier. And, there’s also the chance to just plan the engagement with your partner beforehand but still do the traditional proposal.

Sheryl Sandberg Planned the Entire Engagement to Partner

The Facebook COO is getting remarried after her husband died suddenly 5 years ago. She told ABC News she and her soon-to-be “better half” talked for months about the actual engagement; what it would be like, where it would be, if they would give each a ring at the same time or something else. They chose to give each other letters about their love for each other. They also went and chose the engagement ring together but didn’t purchase it immediately. Sandberg said surprise engagements are fantastic, “But if you can’t talk to your (partner) about marriage, you’re either dating the wrong person or you’re not giving credit for being the right person.”

Buying Your Own Engagement Ring

We do suggest talking about this first with your partner, but it has happened and it is happening more and more. Some women have told others they just wanted something specific and knew it would be expensive. So, they asked their partner to visit the jewelry store and help create a custom piece or picked the piece they wanted and either split the cost or bought it themselves. Some women also know their partners are thinking of proposing with a family heirloom and it might not be “the best fit”. One piece of advice, ask if you can use the family ring and work together with it to create something special for the both or you as you start your own family!

Empowering Your Partnership

Discussing marriage shouldn’t be an issue. And this will soon be a partnership, so, why not upend the traditional idea and talk about proposing to each other. This is about equality, and it will certainly make it easier as a couple knowing you each got exactly what you wanted for and from each other!

We love seeing couples come in together and discuss ring choices. When we get to know you and your partner, we can figure out exactly what’s for you! For both of you! Don’t drop hints. Talk about it. Come and talk to us!